i think i’ve got to get me one of these. i like lists. lists are good. somewhat anal. but good.my friend ‘flygirl’ made one and it so worked. a twelve year old somewhere on the internetweb made herself this list: it’s a clever idea. especially for a twelve year old. not that i’m dissing twelve…
Sunday Times Column
'mr long-time-no-see'.
i was just doing the rush hour shopping basket shuffle down at my local woolies, when i bumped into an old friend, ‘mr long-time-no-see’. we got chatting, as one does. he was looking for a whole coconut, creme fraiche and some basil. i wanted to ask what he was making for dinner, cos i couldn’t…
oh shit my mother's going to kill me for this one.
she knows i love her, but this story has to be told. so we’re gearing up for a monster family function in a couple weeks. now this isn’t like the kind of family functions you have. because i have: two parents, four sisters, one brother, one sister-in-law, three brothers-in-law, 12 nieces and nephews between the…
Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
As you may know, I frequent a local dating website. I go there for a number of reasons. first of all it’s a good place to find funny stuff to write about, being that it’s full to the brim of freaks and lunatics. But also, as a single person, it’s important to keep on working…
not at all crap, for a monday.
Once upon a time i stumbled across some cartoons on the internetweb that i instantly fell in love with. so i called up the artist, a complete stranger who lives in america and asked him to marry me. he said no, but we did make some beautiful ads together, and those are kind of like…
the speedo rears it's… erm… head again.
a couple of weeks ago i posted a piece about speedo’s and the fact that they make a guy’s junk look smaller. it’s here should you have missed it – http://amillionmilesfromnormal.blogspot.com/2009/07/boys-speedo-makes-your-junk-look.html i’ve since downloaded a programme which shows me how people come by my blog. like if you linked to it from facebook or twitter,…
plonker
i went to the gym this morning for a run.you see i got a pair of spanky new running shoes.anyway the first two kilometres were torture.i couldn’t breathe and i felt like i was suffocating.i thought maybe it was the fourteen and a half johnnie walker blacks i had last night at the fabulous ‘nbf’s’…
awesome movie quotes #4 and 5.
ok, it’s a rainy weekend, so i’ve got movies on my mind.and chimpanzees who can do handstands, but that’s another story. possibly one of the funniest movies of all time. particularly when you’re so stoned you mistake your fingers for nik naks, because somebody thought it was a good idea to pull out a bong…
awesome movie quote #3
ok, so it’s not really a movie, but he’s made a couple of movies since this, so it still counts in my book. and i know, i know, it’s old, but it’s still lol funny, which makes it worth repeating in my book. anyway this is transcribed from an interview ali g did with posh…
cape town's most awesome restaurant type place ever.
introducing ‘Oyummy’s Chuan Liao Fu’s Shining Cape Massage Restaurant’ right here in the middle of cape town. drum roll please: yes, it’s a chinese restaurant, sushi restaurant, take away restaurant, massage parlour, nail art salon and chinese health spa, all rolled into one. what more could you ask for? see, ‘home of china help your…