Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.

As you may know, I frequent a local dating website. I go there for a number of reasons. first of all it’s a good place to find funny stuff to write about, being that it’s full to the brim of freaks and lunatics. But also, as a single person, it’s important to keep on working out those dating muscles. No! not those muscles you perv, i mean that it’s important to stay in the game, keep your brain fresh, dating skills sharp etc. Like a dating ninja.

Anyway everyone on the dating site makes up a name for themselves, which i’ve already discussed over here – and then you have to write a few words to go with your name and your profile pic.

i suppose it’s all about advertising, and if that’s the case and you’re selling yourself, then these few words are your pay off line. you know, your ‘just do it’ or your ‘saving you time, saving you money, putting you first’.

as a copywriter i’m fascinated by pay off lines, so i thought i’d showcase a couple i’ve come across. the purple type are their words copied and pasted directly off the site, and then the black type following them is simply my ten cents worth.

and so as not to be accused of only bashing the boys, i pretended i was a big lesbian and went looking at what the women have to say for themselves too:


“Learing, earning and yearing.” watch your wallets, boys.

“All shall be revealed.” think she’s got a penis and some balls hidden under that skirt?

“A little more than average.” – ok, so just kind of ordinary then?

“fourth time lucky?” – hoo boy!

“Classy, spunky lady.”

“Wie’s jou tannie???” – wahahahahhahaha

“Can you see the colours in me?” more shrooms, lady?

“Life is short and love is always over in the morning” – eish!

“I like Cheese.” – what’s not to like about cheese? i’m not even joking i bet she gets a ton of responses. (although my friend ‘the bastard’ would never respond. he hates cheese. oh and he’s married to the wonderful and hot ‘mrs bastard’.)

“ignite me and make me a chariot of fire.” really chick? really? that’s what you’re gonna lead with?


“Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.” love, love, love it, where do i sign up.

“Offering an amazing dinner for one night only – apply here.”

“Animal lover.” erm… guy, i think this is a dating site for humans only. kinky fucker!

“Kom ons geniet mekaar sonder kinkels en kabels” i don’t know what it means (translation anyone?) but i kind of like how it sounds.

“Opsoek na Christelike waardes!” so i’m guessing no tequilla and wild monkey sex on our first date then?

“rally mad.” typo? or ‘rally’ not understanding what women are looking for?

“Just when you thought it was safe to go out again.” – anyone else out there thinking serial killer?

“Let’s make the world small.” Aw, i like that one.

“Incompatibale, it dont matter though; someones bound to hear my cry.” – maybe in need of a therapist, not a girlfriend?
“Lets not discount the possibility of me being the one.” – ha ha, i like this one too.

sadly i think the guys are better at this than the girls.

i had to force myself to stop here, there are some corkers out there. gimme the thumbs up and i’ll post more.

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