i was online checking out the dating website and i came across a man. (real pity i can’t put up his picture, but getting sued would really fuck up my week.) anyway he’s great looking, great body, right age, height and other criteria. but here’s the thing. in his picture he has a moustache. it’s…
Sunday Times Column
1000 tiny things i hate
i love this blog. as you can see, it’s called 1000 tiny things i hate. it’s perfect for valentine’s day. which is today, just incase you’ve been off smoking tik out of a lightbulb and shagging a crack whore and you’ve forgotten what day it is. it’s cynical and classic and based on such a…
hello wannabe virginia wolf
hiya new follower number 87, fellow blogger, wannabe virginia wolf. i’m so glad you could stop by. if there’s anything i can do to make your stay more comfortable, please just let me know. please remember, this is a no smoking zone, unless you’re smoking crack or tik of course, in which case, please be…
hello three new followers
we’ve got three new followers – jop and charis and ‘the other paige’ to say howzit to. and nothing says hello quite like a waving kitten, right? or is that lady just strangling it to death by crushing it’s windpipe, and it’s pleading for help with tiny little mews. either way. you may or may…
the female condom
you know, i like to think that you and me can talk about anything, because we usually do. today – condoms. one of my clients has bowls of these lying in their ladies bathrooms. i would have preferred mints (sealed in individual wrappers, of course) but this is good too. hoorah, it’s the female condom….
yay yay yay ronnie – follower number 84
this is a special hello, which is why it requires a dog in a cape. Hello new follower number 84, who just happens to be ‘the dentist’ from this post which is closely related to this crazy post. now ronnie (and his gorgeous side-kick, Cav) have actually been blog followers since early early on, but…
could this be mr rite?
blogging about the people you come across while dating online is a dangerous but enjoyable business. you don’t want to come across as a heartless, judgemental bitch. i mean seriously, i’m hardly kate moss myself. but on the other hand i really do need to show you some of these people. you need to see…
hello pants
welcome mr pants.it’s lovely to have you here as our new follower number 83. (this cool flashy gif has screwed up my line breaks – i guess you can’t have it all. it’s good line breaks or a cool flashy gif. either, or. never both!) we like to do a bit of a personal meet…
unacceptable behaviour – fake tan
is there a doctor in the house? if there is, perhaps you could tell me if one of the side effects of getting a fake tan is blindness? It must be. that’s the only way how these people look makes any sense. The fact that they look at themselves in the mirror (which given the…
hello new followers – 81 and 82
fran and theodore burns, hello, hoezit, heya! really glad you’re here, thought i’d say hello and thanks for joining. this isn’t a cult, promise. you don’t have to hand over all your money and posessions, unless you want to. please enjoy your stay.