oh michael crowe, you are fantastic and clever, and funny and smart. which is why i copied this poem off your blog (http://www.figcrumbs.blogspot.com/) and then pasted it onto my blurg. hopefully now i’ll be fantastic and clever and funny and smart by association. here’s another one, because you, michael crowe, are a little like a…
Sunday Times Column
mr smarty pants
my friend ‘mr smarty pants’ doesn’t think my disastrous dating stories are true. he thinks i made them up. smarty pants, i promise, it’s all horrifyingly true. in fact that’s not even the first time i’ve recieved a penis by sms. this shit happens out there every day. the freaks and lunatics are rampant and…
man that's funny.
the critic just pointed out that she’s not sure what a ‘SPLAYD’ is. Good point the critic. any ideas people? if it’s a mix of a knife, fork and spoon, then it should be a SPIFORK maybe, or a SPIFKE?
the critic thinks this is only a little bit shit.
‘the critic’ sits across from me at my day job. i’m kind of a wanna be art director, but she is the real thing. we spend close on 9 hours a day together. she is very smart and has talent coming out of her ears. i once read somewhere about the writers who worked on…
thursday's child has far to go. thanks for that shit-head!
there’s this ancient rhyme that goes like this: Monday’s child is fair of face; Tuesday’s child is full of grace; Wednesday’s child is full of woe; Thursday’s child has far to go; Friday’s child is loving and giving; Saturday’s child works hard for a living. But the child that is born on the Sabbath day…
a new fan.
i open my email. ‘Dear Paige, we thought you’d like to know that you have a new fan. “LookingForYou” has just added you to his Favourites on the Matchmaker site. If you’d like to check out his profile, you’ll find it on your Fans page. If you’ve each picked the other as a Favourite then…
i heart her.
thank you natalie dee, i love your anxiety girl. she rocks. please make more. see there’s a super-hero in all of us.http://www.nataliedee.com/ just in case you can’t read her speech bubble: ‘oh my god these tights are too tight, i think i’m gonna die!’ work of genius.
will that big truck outside stop making such a big fucking noise please.
and here’s some cool tuesday stuff off the internetweb. ha ha, sea saw. geddit?
i think my personal trainer is trying to kill me.
hey “guy-at-the-pool-at-the-gym-on-sunday-morning-in-a-speedo”. no not you with the tiny pee pee and the awkward tan, you, the other one, with what looks like three pairs of woollen socks shoved down there. yes you. well, remember i said you should call me? i’ve changed my mind, you’d better not. i think my personal trainer, ‘jim’, is trying…
dr seuss on crack.
This man is edward gorey. he died in april 2000, aged 75. but before he died, and before i was born, back in 1963 (that’s not when i was born, that’s when he wrote this) this somewhat disturbed but completely brilliant man wrote and illustrated a genius story book called the gashlycrumb tinies. it’s about…