When moms get creepy


It’s tough being a mom, it’s a 24 hour a day, 369 day a year job. Or so I’ve heard.
I’m not a mom myself, but i have 12 nieces and nephews and most of my mates have bred and spawned dumplings, so i have noticed that it’s a bit of a crazy job, and it doesn’t surprise me when moms go a bit off the deep end or drink lots of wine. But this… this is quite insane on an entirely different level.

You have to wonder why these children’s beauty pageant moms do this? Are they living vicariously through their little ones, do they wish it was them on that stage, are they bored or just a little touched? Who knows.

These kids get fake hair, fake nails, false eyelashes, false teeth and fake tans, and the moms spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on them every year. In fact the child beauty pageant industry is a $5 billion a year industry.

Beauty Pageant moms scare me. Forget ex-cons, you wouldn’t want to meet one of these chicks in a dark alley when she’s pre-menstrual.

Something tells me she’d get medieval on your ass.

But their little darlings smile on regardless. In about fifteen to twenty years time these little girls are going to be all grown up, and only then will we get to see the true extent of the damage that’s been done.

Mark my words, there will be a sudden influx of memoirs coming out entitled ‘Being a Child Beauty Queen Really Fucked me Up’ and ‘The Life and Times of a Child Pageant Winner in Rehab.’

How old do you think these kids are? Not being a mom myself I find it tricky to judge.

Any moms out there willing to hazard a guess?

My guess is 6 going on 36. 

16 responses to “When moms get creepy”

  1. Why spend all that time and energy when you could just ship them off to Nike? They could earn their own keep, and they might even get an employee discount as well. 😉

  2. There’s a show on FLN called Toddlers and Tiaras. And when they kids don’t perform the moms yell from the audience. It’s so classy.

  3. And someone keeps telling the wife how gorgeous my youngest is, and how we must let her get into this ….
    *shudder* .. i LIKE my daughter as she is?
    peace 😉

  4. The child with the fake nails and the flag outfit is the most disturbing (but only just)!
    I’d put them anywhere from 3 to 5… those poor poor little mites. Bet they are terrors already. That’s gone right past borderline and straight into child abuse.

    @David – Don’t you DARE think about letting your daughter do this stuff. She can be a child model (characters… ) but only if you or your wife has the time to go to castings etc. Definitely NO pageants.

  5. @juz I’ve heard about that show, I’m not sure I want to see that, too upsetting.

    @pea tree I agree re the nails that’s the one that freaks me out the most too!

  6. It is so creepy it should be illegal, a crime somewhere between child abuse and paedophillia. What’s beautiful about children is their childness.

  7. Yeah, there’s something more than a little “Chucky” about the kid in the flag outfit…

  8. I blame that Danish group Aqua with their “I’m A Barbie Girl In A Barbie World”.
    I’s always these Danes. Secretly they want to see Earth fail. Them and the Canadians.
    Don’t be fooled, they live amongst us. They’re disguised as Ninjas.
    You’ve been warned!

  9. I’m amused at some of the comments especially blaming the Danes and the Canadians. LOL.
    This practice is rife in the USA and they start their kids at 2 and 3 yrs old. It’s the momma’s/dads trying to get famous vicariously through their children. It’s a sick situation and those kids are going to be stuffed up forever.

  10. Kallllllllloooooooooooooooo you fricken’ crack me up. hilarious. those ninjas are deadly.

    but the worst part of all this, worse than the millions of children who will be fucked up for life, the very worst thing, is the fact that i now have that barbie girl song in my head.
    thanks kaloo, thanks for that!

  11. I just can’t understand why any mother would want to make their daughter look like a tart before they are even teens.

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