Why I hate the Book Lounge

Man I’m an idiot. You’d think I would have learnt by now. But no. ‘You silly girl!’ as my mother would say.

I went to The Book Lounge last night, to check out the fabulous Sally Partridge and the wonderful Sarah Lotz read about scary things, in celebration of Halloween.

Now I know the rules in such a situation. In fact the rules and guidelines when it comes to The Book Lounge are very clear. They have been specified and noted in triplicate, and I even signed them, initialling each page, and sent them back to myself by registered post.

Rule number one – Do not look at the books!

You are too weak, you know this. You are unable to just look at the books at The Book Lounge, without buying them.

And now look, your handbag is full of new books! Two of them, in fact.

Pretty Monsters by Kelly Link (Tales to keep you up all night) *shivers*:

and ‘Valeria’s Last Stand’:

I know, I know, Valeria’s Last Stand was on sale, for just forty nine ronds, but still that’s no excuse. As your granny used to say, you still have to pay for a bargain!

And I know the back cover of ‘Pretty Monsters’ says that it contains:

– ‘Ghosts of girlfriends past’
– ‘A scrabble-loving grandma’
– ‘An undead babysitter’
– ‘Possibly carnivorous sofas’
– ‘Duelling librarians’
And the piece de resistance:
– ‘A handbag with a village in it’

But still. Come on! It’s not like you’re short of books or anything. If the pile of unread books next to your bed had to come crashing down one night while you slept, you would be trapped, like a Chilean Miner. It would take them months to dig you out of there.

But still you buy more books. What is wrong with you? You know the rules when you go to The Book Lounge, we’ve been over this before. Look straight ahead, or eyes to the ground. And if someone speaks to you, then you respond, looking directly into their eyes. NO BROWSING! Remember, that was the deal we made when our last credit card statement arrived.

And now what’s this, you got a list too! Hurriedly scribbled on your till slip on the way out the door, of other books you plan on buying next time you are there or in the vicinity of there:

Eleven, by Mark Watson:

And Four Drunk Beauties, by Alex Smith:

Seriously chick, if it’s not books, it’s shoes. You’ve got a problem. Seek help.

6 responses to “Why I hate the Book Lounge”

  1. Resistance is futile! I’ve had to cut down on my own book buying expeditions following the first installment on my new car going off this month…

  2. Luckily I’m a complete Luddite when it comes down to downloading new e-Books so it saves me fortunes!
    I CAN’T go into Exclusives or any other bookstore for that matter though – for some reason I always buy recipe books which is bizarre as I seldom cook…

  3. Wahahahahahaha you kill me! but only since I truly sympathise!!! I am a hopeless book, shoe, clothing, underwear, hand bag shopper – sometimes there just is no stopping me … Hey, I just tell myself it could be worse, it could be crack 🙂

  4. Times are tough folks. We have to be strict with ourselves. So i told my self. no more books. till next weekend. but i did see a gorgeous handbag…


    @gail. when you’re over 35 books are the new crack! bwahahaha.

  5. What have you done? I never thought you of all people would do this to me. Never in a million miles. You did though. You did it. I can now blame you when I come home with a pile of new books with the aforementioned titles. I will say Paige made me do it. And I will not feel guilty. Well, maybe I’ll feel a little guilty, but only because there will no doubt be a pair of new shoes in another bag. That’s the kind of guilt a girl has to live with. 😉

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