what not to do on a date with a hot italian guy.

what not to do on a date with a hot italian guy:

do not cook italian food, like spaghetti bolognese. chances are his mama back in the small village he comes from in italy has been cooking it for him from scratch from a centuries old recipe that has been passed down from generation to generation. So don’t make that, yours won’t be as good as mammas.

then don’t have lots of candles all over the place that keeps the dining room in semi darkness. i know it feels very romantic and sexy and it hides the splashes of Bolognese sauce that you might get on your chin and top, but don’t do it.

also don’t buy that garlic bread french loaf that comes from pick ‘n pay in the long foil package that you put in the oven. then don’t put it in the oven to heat it up. then don’t put it out on the table together with the spaghetti bolognese and a lovely greek salad. don’t do that.

then later, once dinner has been served, don’t open up the garlic bread packaging and seductively tear yourself off a piece and put it in your mouth and chew. don’t do that, because the candles will make the room so dark you wont see that the entire piece of garlic bread you just put in your mouth is completely green and mouldy. you won’t see that. but the hot italian date who doesn’t speak so much english will see it. he will watch in horror as you chew and chew, because it will take you a couple of seconds to realise that the mouldy garlic bread tastes funny.

don’t do that. i tried, it doesn’t work.

3 responses to “what not to do on a date with a hot italian guy.”

  1. Anonymous says:

    vok! that sounded like a date from…i’m thinking, i’m thinking…fuck hey! did you get sick from the mould? Ang 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    i have done the same thing with a chocolate cake that i was eating in a frenzy….all alone… one day before giving birth! maybe thats why the baby arrived 2 weeks early?

  3. Paige says:

    aw ang, only sick with embarrassment. i managed to spit most of it out before any physiological damage was done. but the damage to ego was already done. not to mention the damage to sex appeal.

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