The world's first 3D porno

I remember going to see Jaws in 3D when i was about 12. We went to the Pinelands Movie House in Mrs Gadd’s Combi, and got the glasses and got the popcorn. I remember being terrified, especially when Jaws swam towards us. It felt like you could reach out and touch him. Scary!

Now I see that they’ve launched the world’s first 3D porno. It opened to packed cinema’s in Hong Kong last week.

Imagine this in 3D:

Oh my goodness. It’s hectic enough in one D!

And seriously, do we really need one of these waving around right in front of our noses in 3D?

The movie cost $3.2m to make, it’s in Cantonese and is called 3D Sex and Zen. (clearly nobody burnt too many brain cells coming up with the title. But then with a movie like this I’m guessing it’s not the title that counts!) According to reports it contains extreme ecstasy, features orgies, swinging and some very graphic sex scenes.

According to this report: ‘…Curious moviegoers from all walks of life – office workers, retirees and students – formed long queues outside cinemas in the southern Chinese city, eager to catch an eyeful of steamy 3D action. Many in the crowd were women and were not shy about watching the movie.’

Set in the Ming dynasty, the film chronicles the story of a young man who, after being introduced to the erotic world of an aristocrat, realises his ex-wife is the love of his life.

Is it just me, or does the idea of watching a porno in a cinema with dozens of other people around you feel really gross?

The whole concept reminds me of that silly gag where a guy sticks his dick through the bottom of a box of popcorn on a date at the movies, and then waits for you to sink your hand in. Eeeeuuughhh!

Now watch the floodgates open:

‘Italian director Tinto Brass has announced he is to produce a 3D remake of his 1979 erotic film Caligula, while Hustler plans to release a pornographic spoof of 3D science fiction film Avatar, the top-grossing movie of all time.’

I wonder what they’ll call it?

Avagitar?
Anusitar?
Avatongue?

The possibilities are endless!