the devil's dictionary.

Ambrose Bierce is not a friend of mine. nor have i ever shagged him.

but, had i been around when he was alive in 1817 i would have most certainly given it a good go. moustache or no moustache.

he was a genius.

in 1875 he started work on a book called ‘the devil’s dictionary’. according to the back cover blurb – it’s a ‘splendid “dictionary” of epigrams, essays, verses and vignettes, you’ll find over 1000 pointed definitions.’

so i think we shall try a new segment over here on the blog, a kind of word of the day type of thing, which i shall lift shamelessly out of the devil’s dictionary, because they’re damn funny. (unless you all hate them, in which case i’ll stop immediately.)

here check this out if you don’t believe me:

‘Coward, n. One who in perilous emergency thinks with his legs.’

here’s another:

‘Longevity, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.’

and one more, just to give you a general vibe:

‘Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.’

ok, one last one; i know, i know, i promised the last one would be the last one. here really is the last one. for now. (with massive apologies to my good friend ‘the dentist’ and his most fabulous wife -‘mrs dentist’):

‘Dentist, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.’
(i tried to look up ‘prestidigitator, but he didn’t have it.)

yeah, over 130 years later, he’s still a legend. i’d do him.

2 responses to “the devil's dictionary.”

  1. I’d do him too; and I’d scream out obscenities in Ye Ole English… “Doth thou fancy a shag in the Drawing Room?”

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