The devil's dictionary – R is for rogue

Brave client sent me this:

‘Grammar is important: Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.’

It’s a quote from someone with lots of smarts. Dunno who.

But it reminded me that we haven’t chatted to Ambrose Bierce in a while.

(Quick descriptor here for people who have never heard of Ambrose Bierce:)
Ambrose Bierce is a writer from back in the 1800’s, He wrote a fabulous book called ‘The Devil’s Dictionary’. It’s full of dodgy but awesome dictionary descriptions.

That’s him.

We’ve been ticking off each letter of his Devil’s Dictionary and we’re now as far as the R’s.

So let’s go.

‘R’ is for…

Radicalism, n. The conservatism of tomorrow injected into the affairs of today.

Ramshackle, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American.

Ransom, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to the buyer. The most unprofitable of investments.

Reality, n. The dream of a mad philosopher.

Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. (Shoo man, Ambrose. That’s a deep one.)

Riot, n. A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

Rope, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding criminals and assassins that they too are mortal.

Rumour, n. A favourite weapon of the assassins of character.

So endeth the ‘R’s’ – I really love you Ambrose Bierce. No really. Seriously. Completely.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

6 responses to “The devil's dictionary – R is for rogue”

  1. Thecla says:

    Paige – I have just started reading your blog, sent here via Edyth Bulbring’s blog, and I think it’s one of the funniest, smartest & sexiest I’ve ever read. I love that you’re South African (I’m a long-term expat)and yet your posts are totally global in their appeal. Are you on speed, like, all the time?

  2. Paige says:

    Thecla, hello. what lovely things to say about my little blog! seriously chuffed that you’re enjoying it, thank you.
    Nope, not on speed all the time, sometimes i like a little crack, too. 🙂

  3. Kaloo says:

    Oh, and sometimes I like a bit of drugs too!

    Paige dearest, this Ambrose chap… I’d like him at the luncheon for my 10 favourite people please.
    I trust you will make the necessary arrangements.

    Thank you muchly.

  4. Paige says:

    Done and done. In fact he’s arriving any minute the doorbell is about to ring. Hope you have made something nice for dinner. He eats everything but veal and green peppers – its a moral issue.

  5. Kaloo says:

    How does a cinnamon-pumpkin with creamed spinach for starters sound?
    We’ll follow that with butter-chicken cooked in a saucy yoghurt served with basmati rice and roghni naan, and a spicy mango pickle on the side.
    For dessert well have pistachio ice-cream on a bed of vanilla wafers, sprinkled with Lindt shavings.

    Or I could just get a KFC bucket?

  6. Paige says:

    Count me out if you’re making the fancy stuff, but I’m in for the bucket!

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