‘Grammar is important: Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.’
It’s a quote from someone with lots of smarts. Dunno who.
But it reminded me that we haven’t chatted to Ambrose Bierce in a while.
(Quick descriptor here for people who have never heard of Ambrose Bierce:) Ambrose Bierce is a writer from back in the 1800’s, He wrote a fabulous book called ‘The Devil’s Dictionary’. It’s full of dodgy but awesome dictionary descriptions.
We’ve been ticking off each letter of his Devil’s Dictionary and we’re now as far as the R’s.
So let’s go.
‘R’ is for…
Radicalism, n. The conservatism of tomorrow injected into the affairs of today.
Ramshackle, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American.
Ransom, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to the buyer. The most unprofitable of investments.
Reality, n. The dream of a mad philosopher.
Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. (Shoo man, Ambrose. That’s a deep one.)
Riot, n. A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.
Rope, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding criminals and assassins that they too are mortal.
Rumour, n. A favourite weapon of the assassins of character.
So endeth the ‘R’s’ – I really love you Ambrose Bierce. No really. Seriously. Completely.