the devil's dictionary – 'B' is for 'bastard'.

ok, so it’s time to move onto some ‘b’s’. we’re done with the assholes and asphyxiators from the ‘a’s’ for the time being.

(for those of you who just joined us, these direct translations are shamelessly copied from ‘The Devil’s Dictionary’, written by Ambrose Bierce, in 1871 – you can read more about it and see a snazzy picture of the moustache himself, over here: http://amillionmilesfromnormal.blogspot.com/2009/08/devils-dictionary.html)

‘Beauty, n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.’

‘Belladonna, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.
A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.’

‘Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think.’

‘Brandy, n. A cordial compound composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, on part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.’

‘Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.’

‘Brute, n. See HUSBAND.’

and so endeth the ‘b’s’. stay tuned for all the ‘c’ words: cabbage, cat and cannibal.

(bet you thought i was going to say the ‘c’ word, you sicko. that’s disgusting, didn’t even cross my mind, what kind of sick freak are you anyway?)



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