so here’s my dilemma. i was just lurking around the book fair today, minding my own business and surreptitiously stalking the ceo of penguin books in the hopes that she might suddenly get the urge to publish me, when i get an sms from my personal trainer, jim.

now jim is a super hero. he does the iron man in his sleep, and he thinks lunges are fun. jim has been torturing me twice a week for the last six years and i’ve got the calf muscles to prove it.

anyway i only need to take one look at jim’s sms to realise that it’s clearly not meant for me. in fact, i’m pretty sure, if not positive, that it’s meant explicitly for his wife’s eyes only. you go jim and wife, you naughty shits!

ok, so now what? i’m mortified. do i sms back? i really wouldn’t know what to say. can i just ignore it? please please can i just ignore it. but what if he mentions it? i can’t tease him, that would only lead to mass embarrassment for both of us, or an extra three sets of sit ups on tuesday. i’m leaning towards pretending it never happened. so, if you see him, please don’t mention it, and the girl standing next to him with the big smile on her face, that’s probably his wife.

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