Ridiculous jobs for adults.

When I grow up I want to be a professional pencil sharpener.

Well why not?

I love heart heart heart love pencils, and i know it would require strong forearms, but I could work on that.

The wonderful Colleen Higgs found this somewhere:

It’s a website for a man named David Rees. He’s a professional pencil sharpener. Here’s his bio off the site:

I’m not smart enough to be able to tell whether this is serious, or serious satire. But either way, I
like it.

This is he:


About to get down to the serious business of sharpening pencils by the looks of things.

You can send in your pencil and he’ll send it back sharpened, and he’ll send you back your shavings.

Or you can buy the pencil from him and he’ll send it to you sharpened, professionally. Or for just sixty five bucks you can send your pencil, get it sharpened and get this cool poster too.


I wonder if he accepts pencils from South Africa? And what if the sharpened nib breaks in the post on the way back home again? Then do I just send it straight back again? And will that cost another sixty five bucks?

This dude really is an old-school craftsman, there’s this guarantee on his site:


And critics agree that his sharp pencils are a thing of wonder:

His pencils also come with a sharpness warning.

Sharpening pencils is clearly a very serious business.

My art director, Karin, found one of these old guys in the stationary cupboard at work last week, and we got stuck in sharpening every pencil in sight. Remember these from back in the day on your teachers desk up in front of the classroom?
There’s something incredibly satisfying about an extremely sharp pencil, one that’s ready for action.

Is it just me, or did anyone else read that as ‘artis anal’? Just me. Oh.


9 responses to “Ridiculous jobs for adults.”

  1. liquid pixel says:

    Nope, not just you. That was my first clue that he was poking fun with one of his sharp little pencils…

  2. Azra S. says:

    Haha. I’ve always dreamed of being a Farmer. Specifically, a coke farmer. In South America. Of the Colombian variety. If you ever consider going into agriculture, thats where you need to be. I hear they make a good living ;D

  3. Joanna says:

    I want one of those old school teacher’s desk sharpeners! (for real)

  4. Paige says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Paige says:

    @ Joanna, They are so awesome. I love ours. And suddenly all our pencils are sharpened, literally to within an inch of their lives. heart it. i’m going to start looking out for them in those dodgy second hand shops, will let you know if i find more.

    @ Azra – you want to be a coke farmer. bwahahahah high risk, high reward, right!

    @liquid – *big wave* hi.

  6. Kaloo says:

    I want to be a professional bum.
    You know, not your average lazy bum.
    I wanna be a Pro. The real bum McCoy.
    The bum that all other bums look at and go “Some day I wanna be like that bum!”

    Some day…

  7. Paige says:

    Kaloo, well you have a bum already, surely you’re off to a good start?

  8. liquid pixel says:

    Love those pencil sharpeners myself, ‘cept never drop one on your foot if at all humanly possible. That would be how my sister broke her toe – less about the actual implement & more about the huge eff-off slab of wood it was screwed to…

  9. Kaloo says:

    Yes I do.
    It’s an awesome one.
    Which means i’m off to an awesome start 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *