A Million Miles from Normal

real life blow up dolls, for real?

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it seems blow up dolls have come a long long way in the last decade.
(and not just thanks to mail order.)

genius blogging friend goatville sent me to this website where you can buy real life blow up dolls.
bit of an oxymoron, hey?

these smart and smutty folks have come up with a way to use movie set special effects to create some scarily life-like dolls for your and my erm… viewing pleasure.

here’s their shplurb:

okey dokey then. sounds like all i’ve ever wanted. one of those, oh and yacht.

before i show you some of these real life dolls, let’s just pretend you don’t already have an old model hiding away stashed at the back of your closet, and let’s take a look at what blow up dolls used to look like before we got all fancy, here are a few the way i remember them:
these ones are pretty polite ie: without the holes, here’s one with the holes.


yeah, you remember her. nothing new, instant best friend.

but apparently we’ve become a bit more discerning when it comes to who/what we want to share our beds with. and so lucky for us Real Doll has found a solution.

a real life partner who wont leave the toilet seat up.

wont leave the cap off the toothpaste.
a little on the quiet side, but will never cheat on you or hog the remote.

they offer 16 standard female faces and 10 bodies. so you can buy one body and a series of interchangable faces/heads and you never have to screw the same ‘person’ twice.

let’s meet some of the ‘girls’:

this is Leah. incredibly real, hey?

and meet Jenny. she likes long drags along the beach, not being left in direct sunlight, and being cleaned with a damp cloth.

i don’t know, maybe it’s just me but besides being incredibly life-like, some of these ‘girls’ have the strangest expressions, see:


that’s Kaori, and she looks completely shocked, like she’s thinking, what? you mean i’m not real?i’m just made out of plastic?!?
and this one is Nika.

she just looks seriously pissed off. but then can you blame her, who wants to spend their entire life giving back to back blow jobs?

and look there’s a whole section on the realdoll website where you can buy clothes and accesories for your doll.

just in case you want to dress her up nice and take her somewhere special. out for dinner, or to the prom or something. i suppose she can’t go naked, right? although she won’t make much dinner time conversation, not having a voice box and all. (maybe that’s the next step?)
and the clever chaps at Real Doll don’t just have girl dolls, they’re equal opportunity smut peddlers. look, they have boy dolls too.
You can choose between nick:
or michael:

look you can even check out what they’ve got to offer in the apendages department:
i must say i’m a bit freaked out about the feet thing. um… what’s that got to do with anything… it’s not like you need to check out the size of his feet to figure out the size of his thing, his thing is right there staring you in the face.
are the feet for foot fetishists? odd.
and of course as with the girls you get to pick your proportions from a drop-down menu:
forget online dating, this is genius! at least with this you always know what you’re getting. with online dating if you choose ‘handsome’ in the drop down menu, you’re more than likely going to get ‘cyclops’ instead. this is the kind of sure thing i could really go for.
$1300 bucks! sheesh, for that kind of dosh i hope he can also do the dishes and mow the lawn.
and girls, if you’re not interested in being with a guy who has a mind you could always just order up a body to your own defined specifications, like this:

Or wait, if even a body is too much for you to deal with, you might just be interested in their ‘RealCock’ option. Look, it’s got a convenient flat base, and as the descriptor says: ‘It’s the ultimate Sit ‘n Sin!’


waahahahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaa i’m completely finished for that. it looks like one of those collectable toys people put on their desks next to their computers. wahahahahahahahahaha.

but here’s my favourite part of the whole website. they’ve dressed and styled and set the dolls up in life-like positions and photographed them.
here’s nick, reading a magazine on your couch, on a lazy saturday afternoon. (bonus with man dolls – they have no interest in sport, which means weekends are all yours.)

and here’s angela. shame her boobs are so big, she can’t stand up. has to lie on her back all the time, poor dear.
and of course there’s always a britney. here she is all styled up. but what’s with the finger point?
maybe she’s saying, of course we can have sex babe, but only if you brought a rubber.
oh no wait, she is rubber!

12 thoughts on “real life blow up dolls, for real?”

  2. umm, *cough cough*
    that is insane. I’m not sure if i should be impressed by how incredibily life like they are, or shocked that someone, somewhere has one. Or two.

    oi vei.

    Reply

  3. how desperate does one have to be to wanna do a rubber doll, what has to be in your head(no pun)to wanna hit that? were would you hide it?
    imagine you maid/mother/friends opening you closet and there stands rubber dolly! whoa explain that. wait i got a mate that will wanna borrow rubber dolly…yuck

    Reply

  5. So is that normal? Just hanging out on your couch, reading a mag, with a BIG FAT HARD-ON? What’s he reading? I love my namesake btw…how frigging huge are those boobs?

    Reply

  6. Holy Crap!
    If you update your relationship status on FaceBook, I think “It’s complicated” somehow doesn’t seem to sum it up.

    Reply

  8. Paige said…
    thanks for the link angela, cool article. or actually, scary article.

    someone commented to me that the REAL COCK thingy would make a cool door stop. wahahahaha but i also think it would make the perfect coat hanger. just bolt it to your wall sideways! that would be classic! i want oooonnnneeeee!

    Angela GH wahahahahaha re: boobs.
    Juz wahahahahahaha re: facebook. – good to see you both have your priorities straight. wahahahaha.

    Reply

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