So as you know I get lots of amazing emails from my Sunday Times column every week. Just the other day a lady wrote to me and told me that she liked my column, but that she would like it more if I wrote a bit more about Jesus, and a little less about sex.
But last time I did that and wrote about a lady doing pole dancing for Jesus classes, I hurt some people’s feelings, so I’m not going to do that again.
But I now have a new favourite person writing to me regularly. I don’t know his or her name, or where they come from, but I do know this. I don’t understand a word of it. Okay maybe I get every third or fourth word, but other than that I’m in the dark over here.
Here’s a mail I got today. I simply copied and pasted it, no changes, no alterations, just the mail in all it’s glory.
Lmao lmfao lokl uhm mmoh smilin mama mama mama ya slowin down lol or izit ya on da beach today i dnt blame ya bt anyhow da gods have spokn mwah mwah we foreva young nd im a piscean nd we gonna take ova nw sunday ya son mmmh uhm wh!ch iz me lil eazie wana see some awesum-pisceanity-lyricly-gorjizly-fishyry-godly-aquariumisly-awsum snuff nw wit diz i say thank ya 4 all youve implantd in me wit ya writng thank ya mamma and amen.4rm emmanuel lil eazy ponkaliciouz.f.crazeee thank ya and amen mwah mwah
I think it’s from a he (maybe) and I think he’s saying he likes my column (although I could be wrong) and that he’s a pisces or maybe he’s saying I should write about fish… I can’t tell.
What I do know is that every single mail he sends me makes me smile and scratch my head a little at the same time.
Should we be worried about the future of our language? Probably just a little bit.