nobody dates a nigel.

finding myself single again, or as i like to call it, ‘in between blokes’, and in need of a good laugh, i decided to head back to my favourite (read: ‘the only’) online dating website in the country. you see i haven’t been there since just before i started dating ‘Mr Perfect Until He Dumped Me For His Ex Girlfriend’ and i was curious to see what new gems lay waiting for a thirty-eish girl like me since i last visited the site six months ago.

the thing about online dating is that first impressions are really important. i mean i know it sounds shallow and all, and you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but there are reams of guys to choose from, so if someone doesn’t strike you instantly you just click through to the next one. which is why giving yourself the right name or ‘handle’ is so important if you’re serious about meeting someone online. unfortunately a lot of guys don’t seem to have recieved this memo, and i’m horrified as i start to scroll through the profiles.

step aside ladies, i saw them first.

the first winner who catches my eye is ‘Skip Me’, alright i will. next.

the next one is ‘Refusetofollow’, now i see where he’s going here, and i think he had the right idea, but it’s just a pity refuse also means garbage, trash, rubbish and shit.

next up was a chap who has decided to call himself ‘Rage’. and while his picture looks nice, i’m not entirely sure that ‘Rage’ is the six-foot-two man i want to get into a long-term relationship with.

there is also a ‘Fossil 83’, curiosity got the better of me and i decided to check out his profile, at just 26 years old, i wonder what he’s getting at?

then there are the wierdo’s, and there are plenty of these. how about ‘Nogbietjietrou’? now i may have smoked pot in the loos with michelle landman all the way through high school afrikaans, but i’m sure that means ‘still a little bit married’, huh?

of course there are those who just put their full name down ie: ‘George Phillips’, or ‘Daniel Manter’, they must have thought about that for weeks.

now don’t get me wrong, not all of them are dodgy. i mean i did a search for ‘Mr Right’ and there were 97 of them.



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