mr 'what-the-fuck'

please meet someone i recently met at the online dating website – i call him mr ‘what the fuck’.

here’s his profile:

“Why should you get to know ‘mr what-the-fuck’?
Divorced guy, enjoying life..always looking for new experiences..Have adopted Polyamory as a lifestyle, so those of you not shy to try something a little different, drop me a mail and lets chat”

i’m like, dude? what the fuck is polyamory? i’m thinking this wankfuck has made an error. i think he meant to say ‘polygamy’! but then i look it up in the dictionary (i’m a nerd like that) and i see this:

polyamory: participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships.

ok, so polyamory is a real word, so this guy is just an idiot, not a complete moron. and it makes sense i suppose. poly = many, amory = kissy kissy.

but still, wtf?

he has ‘adopted polyamory’? guys never cease to amaze me. this is like those guys who say they’re sex addicts and cry and lament and join a support group which is really just an excuse to cheat on their long-suffering partners, and meet other like-minded sex-crazies.

mr wtf, here’s a newsflash for you. i would also like to ‘participate in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships’. it’s called ‘dating. i want to have multiple roses sent to my desk at work, and be taken for multiple dinners, and then i would like to experience some simultaneous loving, which would put me and my guy of choice loving each other up in the same room at the same time.

maybe we’re all polyamorists?

so what’s the next step? do polyamorists graduate on to become polygamists? so when they’re done dating all these women simultaneously, do they just marry a whole bunch of them?

are there really women out there queueing up to date a guy whose entire lifestyle is based on being with lots and lots of women and never committing to one of them? i don’t think so. although i might be wrong. i mean, are there people out there who actually buy something from those telemarketers who call you at seven pm on a friday night and then say: “hello, how are you” and try sell you a second cell phone contract on top of the one you already have?

there must be people out there falling for this kind of crap, otherwise people like mr wtf, and the telemarketers wouldn’t still be there, would they?

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