knitting for psychos

knitting is the new night clubbing. i’m not even joking. knitting has become achingly cool.

my friend anna is a master knitter. she has a company called wolmer and she makes things that are so beautiful they will make you weep.

but this post isn’t about beautiful knitting, it’s about psycho knitting.

some psycho out there is knitting up these crazy things,

siamese-twin teddy bears – why didn’t i think of that?

and fetishist outfits. aw sweet.

and bunnies stabbed through the heart with a carrot. bet that cute little bunny had it coming to him.

and knitted blood gushing out of open head wounds.

i picture a group of psycho grannies sitting around the old age home, hopped up on too many meds, knitting up a storm.

granny 1: hey esther, how about a tiger mauling a little boy?

granny 2: i don’t know eunice, i kind of had my heart set on stabbing a little girl through the chest with a pair of scissors.

granny 3: what did you say?

granny 1: turn up your hearing aid doris, esther’s going to stab a little girl through through the chest with a pair of scissors.

granny 3: oooh that’s lovely. tea anyone?

knit on crazy psycho knitter, knit on.