i see penises everywhere.

apparently i have a dirty mind. it’s okay, i’ve come to terms with it. i’m constantly amazed at how, in a meeting, a conversation about readership amps can quickly deteriorate into somebody making a joke about anal sex. that’s how i know i’m not the only one with a dodgy fascination for smut. the rest of you have it too!

so the other day someone on twitter, i think it was the very clever Anatinus, allerted me to the accidental penis website. it’s my kind of site. apparently hurricane vanessa already blogged about it a while ago, but she’s always been smarter and quicker than me, so i thought fuckit, i like it too, so i shall blog about it too.

ever look at something random and think oh my hat, that looks like a penis? well if that happens to you often then this is the site for you.

people post random images, like this one:

see it?

of course you did.

you’d be amazed at how many penises there are around, if you just start looking for them.

they’re everywhere. this next one is from a car instruction manual, showing one how to work the windscreen wiper, or how to give a hand job, which ever one you’re looking for instructions on.

and you’d be astonished at how many innocent logos are actually large penises in disguise:

designer’s sick joke. or sick designer’s joke?

penises are everywhere.

in our food:

see, that little girl, the one looking sceptically at that penis ice-cream, she’s one of us. she knows.

it turns out pricks are everywhere. they’re in nature:

in architecture:

and even in our toys:

aha so that’s why she’s called ‘Dora The Explorer’.

oops wait, that’s a toy that is actually supposed to look like a penis. my bad.

you’ll even find the odd dick in religion:

what the? that can’t be for real? *rubs eyes* am i seeing things? really? wow! forgive the blasphemy, but Jesus was hung!

um… where was i? sorry, i got distracted.

oh yes, that’s right, we were talking about penises. they’re everywhere, all you have to do is look.

oh Hannah Montana, you naughty minx.

dicks, dicks and more dicks. it’s a conspiracy. you men are geniuses. you’ve been doing all this subliminal advertising for decades. in the hopes that when you do whip out the real thing in front of us chicks we’re so used to the shape of it that it’s like saying hello to an old friend.

sneaky fuckers!