As promised earlier this week, a guest blog post from my 13 year old nephew, Steven, the inventor of the new genre in literature, ‘Horror Comedy‘.
PS: He lives in London, which may explain the importance of tea in his life.
Some things that I hate – by Steven Reingold:
One thing that I really do hate and I am sure other people do too, is when you have just made yourself a cup of tea. This cup of tea is not just any cup of tea; it’s an amazing cup of tea. Its nice and hot with the perfect amount of sugars (2 and a half) and then 2 minutes later after you have put it down from drinking it you think to yourself “ ahhh yes I can have a sip of my tea” (which you have vaguely forgotten about) and you grab the mug and there is nothing in the mug. What an absolute misery! This is when you realise that you will go and make another one and you do, but this cup is not great so you just start to cry inside and can’t be bothered to finish it.
Another thing that I hate is when you are on the toilet, but you are now finished and you say to yourself “oh ok, I have got to get up now”, you look to your left and there is no toilet paper. What a horrible moment when you understand that you have to shout as loud as you can “MUM there’s no toilet paper!” Not embarrassed or anything, just casually on the toilet waiting for your mum to bring you a roll of toilet paper.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Steven is the prolific author of a number of school essays. His first critically acclaimed essay, entitled ‘My Dream Is:’ only got a D, because it was supposed to be about hopes and dreams, not a dream he had at night. Also, as his teacher pointed out in green pen across the top of his paper, he did forget to use paragraphs!!
His second essay, ‘Horror (& Comedy)’ was well-received by his teacher, and the critics in his grade 6 class.
When he’s not writing essays, riding his bike, or lighting his farts, Steven likes to play cricket, soccer, and X-box.