oh shit. i think they’re onto me.
i just logged into my dating website profile and found this:
fuck. not a single look. not even a farmer from bredarsdorp, or an abattoir owner from delmas. shit. i would have taken either of those over this complete vacuum.
do you think they’re onto me? maybe the guy from klerksdorp (http://amillionmilesfromnormal.blogspot.com/2009/08/so-i-wont-be-moving-to-klerksdorp-after.html) ratted me out. he probably mailed each of the ‘1668 new members who joined or modified their profile since you were last online’ individually and told them – don’t date that chick, she’ll just write embarrassing things about you on her blog and if you’ve got a teeny winkie (unlike mine which is huge – he probably said) she will tell everyone in the internetweb world about it.
i bet that’s what happened.
you laugh (i hope) but it’s no joke, this blog is proving a serious damper on my love sex life. just a couple of weeks ago i was dating this really nice guy, he didn’t even have a third nipple or anything. we were about a month in, all going well and lovely. then he read my blog. that was the last i heard from him. true story. and i hadn’t even written about him. (yet.)
don’t blacklist me boys, please. i promise not to write about your winkies again. unless you ejaculate prematurely, or it’s unnaturally small, like a little mushroom, or unless it bends to the left like a boomerang, like that guy ‘bendy boy’, i once dated. ok wait, i cannot tell a lie, i probably will write about your winkie, but i’ll make up a fake name for you so nobody will know it’s you, promise.
(by the way, if you’re reading this, happy birthday for today ‘mr great disappearing act’.)
its true dummy! boys will shake in their boots at your blog!you know how fragile our egos are.