Morning all, so here’s yesterday’s Sunday Times Column. Don’t like shaving your legs or watching rugby? Have I got a guy for you:
DATING A SERIAL KILLER – By Paige Nick
Gentlemen, if you’re struggling to find a girlfriend, try killing someone. It may sound extreme, but it seems to have worked for others.
Mass murderer, Ted Bundy, had women queuing up in the courtroom during his trial, and both he and serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer received hundreds of love letters from admirers while in jail. I’ve been on a couple of bad dates in my time, but you know someone has a bad dating history when they’d rather go out with a mass murderer than the bloke who works down the pub.
What’s surprising is that these prison advances aren’t only coming from crazy ladies with no other options and problems with personal hygiene. Some of these women are intelligent, beautiful and entirely rational, which makes this phenomenon even more bizarre.
Lyle Menendez, who is currently serving life without parole for murdering his parents, was married to a Playboy Playmate, who first fell for him when she saw him on TV during his trial. She later divorced him because he was writing to other women from prison. Not too bothered, he married 33-year old magazine editor, Rebecca Sneed, who has since become an attorney. No doubt to assist him with his case.
Hybristophilia is the official term for being sexually aroused by someone who’s ‘committed an outrage, cheating, lying, known infidelities or crime, such as rape, murder or armed robbery.’ It’s more commonly known as Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome, which trips off the tongue easier.
The question is why? There’s a great argument for blaming evolution here. In prehistoric times, women had to pick a super-aggressive mate who could provide for her and defend her from dragons and sabre-tooth tigers. That’s why so many women today are attracted to a bad boy. Although most of us leave it at a tattoo, motorbike and bad attitude. But are we conditioned to like a dominant male so much that we’ll search out the most terrifying of human predators?
Shrinks tell us some women find these men irresistible (and I use the term men loosely for these animals) because they think they can change them. It’s textbook woman. They think the psychopath is broken and wounded and only the kind of love, care and macaroni cheese they can provide will fix them. I’m sorry crazy lady, love isn’t that powerful and neither are you! This isn’t the plot of some romance novel, where everyone recognises their flaws in the end and we all live happily ever after.
Shrinks also believe some women seek out relationships that can’t be consummated for reasons ranging from a history of abuse, to commitment phobia, as well as the millions of women out there who would kill to be married, but could take or leave the sex part.
Plus if your husband is in maximum security you always know where he is, chances are he’s not cheating on you, and you don’t have to cook or clean for him. These women can claim somebody loves them, without having to endure the day-to-day chores and compromises. No laundry, no cooking, no cleaning, no sex, no sport on telly, no bikini waxes, and nobody to mess with their thimble/doll/cat/teaspoon collection.
In a slightly less palatable psychology, some women seek out the spotlight that might shift from the psychopath onto them. They’re desperate for fame and maybe a book or movie deal, and since they’d never make it past round two on America’s got Talent, or would probably be voted off the island first, this might be their only hope. In which case they get what they deserve.
Sadly there’s no upside to this phenomenon for anyone. If the prisoners ever get out, the relationship usually ends in tears. And what’s even more sad is that 98% of the people reading this column will know exactly who Ted Bundy is, but I doubt 5% could name any of his victims. It’s a shame that such hideous, brutal acts are so glamorised.
While I was reading up about this I started wondering whether women in prison are as popular as the men? But it turns out that while prison pen pal and dating websites are huge for both sexes, it’s much less popular for free men to marry female inmates. Perhaps that’s because most men already consider marriage a prison sentence.
Do you think when somebody marries an inmate that they change the vows to read; ‘… for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in solitary confinement, until death or a shiv made out of a toothbrush do us part.’ Or have I just been watching too much Orange is the new Black?
