dating a car guard

so, a car guard asked me out on a date yesterday. s’true story.

i even considered it. i mean he has a job and a nice smile. that’s more than i can say for a lot of the dates i’ve been on recently. and I heard a couple of car guards in cape town just got given a two million rand audi, talk about perks.

wait, hold on before you gape at me, thinking that i would shack up with just any old car guard, this guy is the parking guard at one of the suppliers we use for work. see, not just any old car guard.

at the end of last year we did a very work intensive job with this specific supplier, so i was seeing a fair amount of this parking guard chap. a couple of times a day over a two month period he would guide me into the parking area and generally help me out. he had a really friendly smile, and so i found myself smiling back and greeting the guy.

and so yesterday i had to return to the supplier for the first time this year. boy was this guy happy to see me. and i must admit in amongst the surly responses one generally gets from service providers in and around cape town, it was kind of nice to see his warm friendly smile again.

so we wished each other a happy new year and said it was nice to see each other again.

and then it happened.

he asked me if i’d like to get a drink with him.

really. i kid you not. he did. that’s exactly what he said, in his thick nigerian french accent.

Do you wanna get a drink with me?

he said.

and he was pretty smooth about it.

i gaped and stuttered a bit. i was shocked.

and then i politely declined and bragged a bit about my imaginary boyfriend.

i wonder where he would have taken me? where do parking guards go for drinks on first dates?
and would he have worn the luminous vesty jackety thing on our date? i would like to think he would have.

and where ever we ended up going, would we still have to tip the car guard at that place, or do car guards have immunity from their fellow car guard mates? a professional courtesey of sorts.

i can just picture introducing him to my friends and family down the line.

‘friends and family,’ i would say, ‘i’d like you to meet my new boyfriend, Olumuyiwa Adebayo, he’s in the motor industry.’

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