date week – women behind bars.

welcome to day three of date week.

day one was dating for adults who like to wear diapers, day two was for the trekkies, and now…

it’s women behind bars wednesday!

fuck me sideways and call me suzie! this is insane.

the incredibly talented lisa from the lovely blog; days like today, over here sent me a heads up about this website. thank you lisa. (ps: if you follow her blog she will draw you, it’s pretty cool.)

it’s a dating website for men who would like to hook up with women who are in prison.

um guys… i know most of you usually just think with your dicks, but seriously, is this really such a good idea?

i know, i know, there are some serious pros:

1. you always know where your girlfriend is.

2. she’s bound to be really horny (but potentially gay) by the time she gets out.

but let’s take a look at the cons. (geddit, cons. wahahahahha.)

1. they’re in prison.

2. they’re in prison.

3. they’re in prison!

what bothers me most is that none of their profiles say what they’re in for. surely if you’re going to date someone who has committed a felony you’d want to know whether they cheated on their taxes, or poisoned all their exes. i know it’s just a little detail, but still, i’d wanna know.

let’s meet some of the inmates:

this happy, go lucky, easy-going looking individual is chelsea:

her profile says:

‘I love the outdoors, swimming, playing pool and video games. I am looking for a man who will be there for me long term…’

you love the outdoors do you Chealsea? well you should have thought about that before you stole two television sets and a dvd player so you could buy smack!

this is carmen:

she likes long walks on the beach, romantic candle-lit dinners and stabbing you in the face while you’re sleeping, with a homemade shiv.

and last but not least, this is elizabeth:

(just in case you can’t read that, it says:) ‘My hobbies are camping, cooking, romantic evenings and music. I am possibly willing to relocate.’

okay, maybe i’m reading too much into that profile, but ‘willing to relocate’, to me that sounds like she’s looking for someone to break her out of prison! don’t you think? good thing she likes camping and cooking, so when you’re on the run from the law together and living in a forest, at least she won’t be moaning at you that she’s missing her hairdryer.

and then this is my absolute favourite part of the website, there is a warning page and a list of things you as a potential prison girl dater should look out for.

now i’ve seen it all. well almost all, come back tomorrow for more crazy shit on date week thursday. thanks again lisa.