Am I that scary?

It’s a dark night. An older man and woman stand on a street corner examining a map in confusion, trying to make the most of the meagre street light.

As I drive past I can see they’re not from here. And it’s not just the upside down map they’re clutching and the cameras hanging around their necks that give them away, it’s that sense that they’re different and couldn’t possibly be from these parts.

It’s the world cup and they’re in an expensive suburb. B+B dwellers I presume. I’m on my way out for dinner and I’m running late, but I want them to have a good experience in South Africa, so I slow down and pull up along side them. I hold down the button to slide open my passenger window then lean across the leather passenger seat.

‘Are you lost? Can I help you?’ I ask with a big friendly smile.

They look up at me, startled.

The woman clutches her camera and handbag close to her body.

The man grabs her by the arm and pulls her close to him.

‘No, no, we’re fine!’ he says in a thick German accent.

‘We’re not lozt, no, absolutely fine,’ his German wife exaggerates.

‘Fine, fine, we’re fine,’ Mr German repeats.

Then they scurry off as fast as they can in the opposite direction, looking back at me nervously.

Hold on a second, I think. Were they scared of me?

No. Not scared. Absolutely terrified.

What did they think I was going to do to them? Shove them in my boot and off with them?

Am I (single white female in a nice car) really what the foreigners are scared of these days?

I guess so.

It’s a crazy-ass world.

6 responses to “Am I that scary?”

  1. Lood says:

    Weirdos. If we have to start behaving like some of these tourists believe we do, this country would go up in smoke and flames in no time.

    I think I’ll pop out to Rosebank, and grab myself a German Tourist for lunch…

  2. Lood says:

    Weirdos. Really if we have to do everything the way some of these tourists believe we do, this country will go up in smoke and flames within days!

    Really. I guess I’ll have to pop over to Rosebank and get myself a couple of German tourists for lunch.

  3. Gail says:

    that depends really on what you were wearing at the time … did you leave the house in your wonder woman costume again?

  4. dummy says:

    ha ha ha thats funny they recognized you from your blog! they thought you might have seen them buying there Christian sex toys when you did the research bhwaaaaaa

  5. Maryx says:

    WTF?! Hahahahahahahahahaha I’m with dummy on this one! Ya never know! heehee

  6. Paige says:

    Yay! the comments are working again!

    You funny bunch. The idea of me in a Wonder Woman suit and i don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

    yeeehaaa, i’ve been trying to load them all day. happiness.

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