a bit of bondage anyone?

i found this guy at the online dating website this last weekend.

an aside: please can we all just forget the stigma of dating online, that’s so last decade. it’s time to move on. these days it really is a viable way to meet nice guys, if you’re a single girl looking for (mis)adventures.
alternately it’s a fantastic place to find fodder for the old blog, since it’s full of freaks and lunatics. like this winner, who i will be taking home to meet my parents immediately. NOT.

it’s quite small, so i hope you can read it. but just in case you can’t (i’ve asked you before, please bring your specs) to sum up – he’s looking for someone intersted in: ‘bondage, discipline, spankings, sadomasochism, leather or rubber fetishes, power play, chains, ropes and other related BDSM activities.’ (anything in purple on this blog are his words directly transcribed.)

DUDE! what the hell? why are you in my matches? where in my profile have i ever even hinted at the fact that i’m interested in this kind of thing? i’ll tell you where; NOWHERE! because i’m not.

chains? what on earth are you going to do with chains? or is that just the part where you lock up your bicycle outside, before you pop inside to reveal a full body leather one-piece, underneath your chino’s and polo shirt?

mr spanky then goes on to describe his ideal match thus:

as per above he asks me if i’ve ever: ‘imagined yourself at someones feet serving them, catering to their every desire and whim.’

dude, if i wanted that i would have gotten married years ago!

nope, sorry no ‘miriad of dark thoughts’ here, guy. just a miriad of light, happy thoughts, promise. it’s kittens and puppies all the way in my thoughts.

one can only imagine what mr spanky gets up to behind closed doors when he does find someone who’s interested. clearly he’s been a very naughty boy. perhaps that’s why he’s looking for a jolly good spanking.

take it sleazy, mr spanky.



9 responses to “a bit of bondage anyone?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    its not my thing, but i give him credit for been up front about what he wants…did not waste your time with the met and greet crap and then spring a surprise on you later, which could of been a shock to the system

  2. Paige says:

    yeah i suppose you’re right. nothing worse then settling in for a night of gentle love making and he pulls a gimp mask out of nowhere.

  3. FuziJuzi says:

    I see you got my email then 😉

  4. Paige says:

    yeah but i didn’t recognise you with your gimp mask on.

  5. dorothy says:

    hehehe – i know him. he’s quite the man in the bdsm circle in sa. it’s not personal – he trawls all dating sites and tags every new entry – it’s his way of scouting for new subs (bottoms or submissives) – a rare commodity in the community. he gets a lot of positive feedback actually and a LOT of closet fetishists who didn’t even know there was a community. funny 🙂

  6. Paige says:

    poor guy,
    it’s hard enough finding relatively normal, single, straight, unmarried, employed, only vaguely kinky men in this town. i can only imagine what a hard time he has finding a suitable match.

    i don’t have a problem with it, it’s just not my cup of tea/cup of burning wax.

    🙂

  7. chryssa says:

    i agree with anon, at least you know what to wear on the date! no wardrobe crisis there!

  8. INCROYABLE!!!!!!!!Holy-Fuck-ing-Shit-face-Wowee-Whiskers-Poeslips!…I am not sure if the ad itself or dorothy’s inside info on this freakazoid scares me more…? (scuuuze my French, “incroyable” seemed appropriate? non?

  9. dorothy says:

    LOL paigen – burning wax … funny
    LML – part of my job description to know such things 🙂

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