Third nipples.

Did you ever know anybody with three nipples?

Or is it like people who win the lottery – everyone knows someone who knows someone who has, but nobody’s ever actually seen it happen with their own two (or three) eyes.

I think Ross in Friends had a third nipple, didn’t he?

Being too curious for my own good, I checked it out on Wikipedia. Where it says:

‘A supernumerary nipple (also known as a third nipple, triple nipple, accessory nipple, pseudomamma or polythelia) is an additional nipple occurring in mammals, including humans. Often mistaken for moles, supernumerary nipples are diagnosed at a rate of 1 in 18 humans.

Damn! I know 18 humans, I wonder which one of them has a third nipple?

Hey it can’t be all bad having a third nipple. Must take the load off the other two when it comes to breast feeding.

Wikipedia (Oh how i love you Wikipedia) continues to say:

‘They are classified into eight levels of completeness from a simple patch of hair to a milk-bearing breast in miniature.’

According to Google Images it seems like an in-joke among third nipple holders to have it pierced. Kinda funny i think, although bordering on really seriously gross.

‘…Although usually presenting on the milk line, pseudomamma can appear as far away as the foot…’

What Wikipedia? A nipple on your foot? Now that’s just bizarre! Wikipedia, now you’re just writing on crack and trying to mess with us.

Here’s a list of some famous people who you may or may not know have third nipples:

– Marky Mark has one.

(So when they say Marky Mark and the funky bunch, are they referring to Marky Mark and his spare nipple?)

Lilly Allen has one.

And so did Anne Boleyn. (Of the Henry the VII underpants fame, and that beheading business.)

Fortunately for everyone Dolly Parton doesn’t have one.

Hey, if you had a third nipple, and you got a boob job, would you get all three ‘done’, or just the two?

And it asks some interesting questions of the bra making people. Brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘Wonderbra’.

Okay, enough boob talk, it’s time to go and do monday.

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