The view from on holiday – part one – A Million Miles from Normal

I’m back. My holiday is over.

And so now as with all post holidays there are bills to be paid, manuscripts to be reworked, ads to be written and post holiday depression slumps to be in.

But before all that there’s a little reminiscing to be done.

Never was there a more boring sentence than, do you wanna see my holiday slides? But I guess that’s essentially what I’m doing.

I think there are two kinds of holidayers in this world, the photo takers and the non-photo takers. I, myself, am a non-photo taker. In fact, I don’t even own a camera. What I do however own is a cell phone that has a camera in it. So whenever I see something weird or wonderful or inspiring, at least I can take a snap of it. Even if it is grainy, upside down, too dark and more often than not has my finger in front of the lens.

I’m really more of a note taker than a photo-snapper. But then I suppose notes are essentially just writer’s photographs.

So for the next two days i’ll be posting some random holiday snaps of things I saw abroad. (Abroad, that should almost be a rude word, don’t you think? Anyway back to holiday slides. Will someone get the lights, please? Thank you.)

First up:

People put really strange things in their windows in Amsterdam. Pee pee penis dolls of all shapes and sizes in the window of this home. Some masturbating, some pulling zap signs. Hmmmm, curiouser and curiouser.

This next one was in the window of a restaurant in Amsterdam:

I wonder what a ‘Jacked’ pototato is? And surely you should find it in Joburg not Amsterdam?

More strange window displays:

This one was in the window of a chemist. If my photography is so awful you can’t see what that is, allow me to explain:

It’s a giant toothbrush carousel.

It goes round and round and round, like a miniature dental funfair. And the toothbrushes sit two to a seat, holding hands and watching the sights.

Another Dutch favourite of mine are these junk food vending machines:

Pick what you want. Put your cash in the slot. Open the little door and grab your food. I think it’s the equivalent of our dodgy boerie rolls that you buy in Long Street at 4am. It seems a good idea at the time, but really, it’s never a good idea. I’ve never tried one, I must be honest. It’s all just a little mystery meat-ish for me.

These next two shots are from a little Asian place I quite enjoyed in Amsterdam. This is their closed sign:

And their open sign:

This next shot was taken in London. It was a window display in Selfridges. Dozens of shoe box worlds, each created in a different style. Gorgeous and intricate.

Next – A most fabulous pair of shoes from Amsterdam that I would have bought myself if I was richer than God, or a Sheik. The only two kinds of people able to afford these shoes I would imagine.

Okay this next one is weird. This was a shop window for a butchers, located in The Red Light District in Amsterdam, right next door to one of the famous prostitute windows. I kind of thought it was ironic.

Sorry, once again it’s a really crap picture, but it’s of some cows grazing in a field. Again, it was late and rainy, and as I mentioned, I’m not much of a picture taker. Cattle call, indeed.

This was pretty cool too. This guy finds tree stumps and whittles them into statues of men’s trunks. Fitting I guess. Trunks made out of trunks.

The underpants are bark. Woof.

More travels abroad tomorrow.

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