Some columns come easily. Something happens that triggers off the idea, and it mulls around in my head a little bit and then when I sit down and start writing, it just kind of falls out.
Other columns are a little more stubborn and they take a little longer to coax out. I get the idea and then spend months working on it, going back to it every now and then, adding a line here, or a thought there, until it finally pulls itself into some kind of form.
Yesterday’s Sunday Times column is one of the later. I’ve been working on it for quite a few months. In fact, it was initially inspired by my second novel This Way Up:
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Gratuitous book promo shot |
You see the heroine in my book is a sex agony aunt, so i had to do lots of research on the subject, and that left me with all sorts of residual thoughts and ideas.
So that’s the backstory, but here’s the column. I hope you enjoy it. If you don’t, write and tell Alice, I’m sure she’ll know what to tell you.
ASK THE AUNTY
Well, “Sex-agony aunt” harps back to the observation that if sex is a pain in the backside, you have got it all wrong.
The whole concept of an agony aunt is also quite bizarre.
People (see, I can be gender-correct when I want to) write in hoping that their worst fears will not be confirmed, and the all-seeing, all-knowing “Sis Beatrice” chucks all those pathetically boring letters in the bin and concocts her own much more salacious questions and answers. Your daily horrorscope or what!
To be politically correct I will not recount what the real Sis Beatrice had to say to a few people allegedly writing in about their father, and husband, marrying for a fourth time (and also because I am too busy to find the scanned Sunday Times article and type out reams and reams of, albeit side splitting, aunty-prose).
When I do occasionally find myself in Exclusive Books, I have looked for “This Way Up”, but not seen it yet – it would be interesting to see if the heroine was also correctly anticipated by the Chinese Proverb
~ ~ ~ ~ If your strength is small, don’t carry heavy burdens.
~ ~ ~ ~ If your words are worthless, don’t give advice.
If this accurately describes her, I look forward to an agonizingly good read.
Paul Scrotal Pi, you haven’t been able to find a copy of my book in Exclusive Books! That is a travesty and a great injustice. Which branch do you visit? If they don’t have it please ask them to order a copy (or ten) i would hate to limit you of a good read, and me of a good sale, simply because the book shop are out of stock/luck. Let me know how you go. And thanks for your support and funny response, of course goes without saying. I need to track down this Sis Beatrice.