The Loeries 2011 – Night One Roundup

Okay, so that’s the first night of the Loeries 2011 done and dusted… wait, quick body count… all parts seem to be present and accounted for. Except voice, which is all husky-like, from shouting to be heard over songs that seemed like a good idea at the time.

Kick ass art-director, Karin Bary McCormack and I picked up two bronzes this year. Both for Allan Gray. One for an outdoor campaign and the second for a royal wedding print ad. Hey I don’t want to piss off the awards Gods by being greedy, we takes what we gets and we’re grateful for it.

Not sure about the rest of you, but I felt a little disillusioned by some of work out there tonight. Of course there were the good bits, but some of the stuff between the good bits had me raising an eyebrow. Although the radio category was incredibly strong.

Here are some other awards that could have been given out tonight:

Riaan Cruywagen, you get a Grand Prix for Awesomeness. You were easily the best MC at any Loeries I’ve ever been to. My theory is that you have been cryogenically frozen, and get brought out for special occasions such as this. Otherwise your youth and imortality is inexplicable and a little creepy.

Famous lady I’ve never heard of before from the SABC, hosting with Meneer Cruywagen, you get a Silver for wardrobe. Nicely done. Although am I wrong in wondering if dress number two and dress number three were not perhaps the same dress, just with the one shoulder removed and a flower stuck in the waist? Either way, super job.

Riaan Cruywagen, you also get a Gold Craft for Writing, for the following joke. (Not verbatim, but as good as I can remember at 3am after a night such as this one.)
RIAAN: People often ask me who will replace me when I die. That’s when I say, I’m never going to die.’

Andrew Human gets a Gold in the category ‘Running a Tight Ship’. I thought it was so much better without all the entertainment segments. It was in, out, Riaan Cruywagen, I’m on a stage, boom, done, dusted, sorted, now let’s go party goodness. Defs the way to go.

My cell phone gets a Silver in the ‘Irony’ Category for auto-correcting the word ‘tonight’ to the word ‘vomitting’ in a number of texts that I sent out. Not sexy!

Damian gets a minus bronze for somehow missing the ceremony.

The immensely talented guy who told me I’ve hardly aged at all, in all the years we’ve been in this crazy industry together, gets the Grand Prix in the category ‘Stretching the Truth’, Thank you, you rock.

And the very drunk guy who put my head in a head-lock till I did shots with them, wins a Gold Craft for being a very charming drunk, and still standing even though he’d been drinking since 9am.

Theo gets a Bronze in the ‘Terrible Idea’ Category for initiating the long, intricate discussion about dwarf/little people porn. I know at the time I said I was going to write a column about it. But now, in the drunk light of night I realise that was a terrible idea and I could never do it. Sorry.

Our Moe get’s a bronze, no really he got a bronze, in the student category, for reals. Nice one Mo-mo, we’re so proud.

Kate, saw your name up there in lights too. Nice one lovely lady.

And tomorrow night we do it all again. Once more, with feeling.

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