The dick-tionary.

Dummy is a great friend of mine, he lives in Durban, where it’s very very hot. Hot as a cauldron, hot as the devil’s house, hot as a sauna that also contains a heater.

Some months ago he sent me this, it’s a page out of a dictionary of some kind, I’m guessing it’s Italian. (Feel free to correct me if you know better.)

Now these kind folks who compiled this dictionary have been clever enough to supply a whole page of translations specifically in case you find yourself going on a date with an Italian man or woman and need to be able to communicate important date-type things in Italian:

It’s fantastic, they’ve got things like how to say ‘kiss me’, and ‘easy tiger’ and the ever popular ‘Fuck me’… and then all the possible variations on that theme, like ‘Fuck me harder’, ‘Fuck me faster’, ‘Fuck me softer’, and ‘Fuck me slower’.

Brilliant. Thank you very much. Or should i say, Grazzi!

But then this is what caught my and Dummy’s eye, half way down the page of translations:

I guess it’s important for the average guy, when having sex with an Italian woman to be able to communicate that he’s unable to get it up. How considerate of the translators.
And what I love even more are the translations that come later:
‘That was amazing.’
‘Can I stay over?’
‘When can I see you again?’
Perhaps not words you’ll ever need to know, should you have to use the ‘I can’t get it up, sorry!’ at any point.
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2 responses to “The dick-tionary.”

  1. Teeheehee.
    See now if they had this dictionary for members of our parliament travelling in Italy, it would include phrases like “Can I call you a cab?” … “Do you need taxi fare?” … “Was it nice?”…. and “Would you like to stay for breakfast after we shower that Aids away?”

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