I've got mail

One of my absolute favourite things about writing a weekly column for The Sunday Times, besides getting to write a weekly column for The Sunday Times, are the emails I get each week from readers, in response to the column.

Depending on the nature of the column, I get varying amounts of mail. The ‘sex’ columns bring in the most mail by far.

I finally have something to look forward to on a Monday, which is when most of the mails tend to filter through.

In general some of them are angry or have a point to make about animal cruelty or Zulu culture or some other point of interest. Some have a big smile on their faces, that I’m so proud to have helped put there, and some tell crazy stories of their own, that are often ten million miles from normal. And some of them are so meaningful and poetic that they make me swoon and declare instant love to the unsuspecting letter writer. (You know who you are!)

I’ve even received photographs from different readers. After the column on ‘A Single Insight’, one phenomenal woman sent me incredible pics of herself having a fabulous time on holiday in Mexico, another regular writer wanted me to know what he looks like so he sent me a pic of himself at his desk.

It makes the hunt for a topic, the tough weekly deadlines and the stress of ‘am i funny enough?’ or ‘is this good enough?’ all worthwhile.

So I thought I’d share two of the letters I’ve received so far.

The first is one of my very favourite pieces of hate mail, to date. It came after the column on ‘The Big Dry Spell’. I think the reason I love it is because depending on how you read it, it could be considered hate mail or fan mail.

Greetings Ms Paige,

You must be in the front line for the most tasteless article of the year !! Well done !!

And I’m also really flattered that he considered it The Most Tasteless Articles Of The Year. How cool is that! I think I’ve written waaay more tasteless stuff in my time, but hey, there you go. I must say, I enjoy the hate mail as much as I enjoy the fan mail.

Next is another letter I really really really enjoyed. This guy is a regular writer into the column, and I think he’s an absolute gem. This letter came after last week’s column on ‘Sexual Positions’. Check it out:

Hi Paige:

Responding to your article ‘ Take a position on positions’ I am naturally inclined doing things the normal way, that is, the missionary position. By the way, can you give me an etymology of this word “ missionary position. Some months ago I had a privilege of dating the most cute lady in town. As we got to a time of engaging in a sexual activity, she unexpectedly suggested an oral sex. I never had that before. Moreover, for hygienic reasons, it wasn’t a good idea to me. But the point is that, from the face value of that lady, it was unthinkable that something of that nature could be suggested by her

From etc.

You’ve got to love it to bits, right!

That poor lady, do you thinks she wanted to give him a blow job and he turned her down, in horror? That must be the first time on this planet, in this universe, that that has EVER happened. Bless. I love this guy.

Write on.

2 responses to “I've got mail”

  1. david says:


    tasteless? certainly not pretentious at least 😉

  2. who is this man who can turn down a blow job!

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