did you know it’s officially Jesus’ birthday today?
yup i heard it on the radio, so it must be true.
happy birthday dude.
i wonder what your dad’s going to get you?
it should be something epic like a ferrari or a planet or something.
not something crap like a new pair of birkenstocks or a beard trimmer.
i wonder if he’s throwing you a surprise party? Jesus Christ, that would be awesome!