Fashion smashion

Okay, can we all just step back and admit something for a second…

fashion is fucked up, right?

Who’s to say what’s in and out, what’s hot and what’s not?

Okay, look, I’m not a complete heathen, I get your basic fashion trends and I usually try and keep up as much as is possible. I understand that the long boot over jeans or jeggings is so hot right now. Or that this colour is the new black, then that colour is the new black, then black is the new black. But it’s more the crazy fashion shit that I really don’t get.

My friend Amanda sent me this recently:

Horses hooves! Really now! Clippety cloppity, clippity cloppity.

here’s the blurb about them:

‘…these will set you back about ZAR 14,000, they comprise of 5000 horse hairs. They were commissioned to celebrate Cheltenham Festival’s 100th anniversary and are apparently “…the perfect accessory for racing fans who want to stand out from the crowd.”

More like the perfect accessory for racing fans who want to look like complete douchebags!

5000 horse hairs? Shame and it’s winter, there are some very chilly My Little Ponies out there right now.

And Lady Gag isn’t the only one to blame when it comes to crazy fashions, there are a ton of designers out there smoking a whole weekend’s worth of crack all at once, and then making shit like this:

What, you mean you don’t have one of these:

Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you don’t have one. You are so passe!

And what about this:

What! You don’t have one of those either? I have four, one in white, one in red, one in black and one in crazy.

And of course back to the horsie theme:

And I’ve heard of helmet head, but this…

And this jelly fish, lamp pole look is all the rage:

This one just creeps me out:

Little hands stitching your clothes onto you. Insert horror music in here please, mwuhahahahahaha! That’s some freaky Helena Bonham Carter shit, right there!

Somebody please call the fashion police immediately.