A Million Miles from Normal

Crazy reaches an all new level

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Today’s post ties up to two other recent posts.

This post about religious sex toys, and this post about LOLcats.

But what could those two posts possibly have in common? I hear you ask.

Well, believe it or not, a couple of years ago a bunch of crazy cats began a project to translate The Bible into ‘LOLspeak’, the slang used on the LOLcats website.

I know it sounds crazy. Well it is.

I don’t know why they did it. I’ve been thinking about it for two whole days now, and I can’t come up with one single plausible reason a person would do such a thing. But they did it.

Look, see, it’s here on Wikipedia, if you don’t believe me.

It’s called The LOLCat Bible Translation Project. It was started in July 2007 by a crazy dude named Martin Grondin. The project relies on people around the web adapting various bible passages and adding them to the ever-growing wiki-based project.

In the process of this translation, all the main characters from The Bible have been changed into cats.

Jesus Christ is ‘Happy Cat’.
G-d is ‘Ceiling Cat’
and Satan is ‘Basement Cat’.

I know, they’re off their fucking rockers, right?

Further translations have also turned the ‘gifts’ and ‘blessings’ of G-d into ‘Cheezburgerz’.

I kid you not.

And general people have become ‘kittehs.’

And since the translation is finally complete, The LOLCat Bible is at last available in book form:

S’true story. Serius. I couldn’t make this shit up, even if I was on a truckload of crack.

Here are the first few verses of Genesis, copied and pasted from the LOLcat Bible Translation Project:

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.
4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.
5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!
Still don’t believe me you cynic, go here to amazon and buy yourself a copy.

I did a small amount of research (so it may not be entirely accurate) but the original Bible has already been translated into approximately 2 287 languages around the world. Hey, what harm can there be in adding one further language? Even if it is a weird cat language based on bad smsing techniques, made up by a bunch of guys who smoke too much pot.

8 thoughts on “Crazy reaches an all new level”

  3. wahahaha i wanted to bring in the whole ‘ceiling cat is watching you masturbate’ thing but i think that’s a whole post on its own!

    Bella, I agree, it’s like The Bible written by a bunch of stoner surfer dudes!

    Reply

  4. What happened to the Holy Ghost? Not There Cat or Invisible Cat or Floaty Cat? I NEED TO KNOW! This will bother me for yonks!

    Reply

  5. And did you see the link on the wikipedia article to the brick testament? WTF? Where do these nutcases find the time? I barely have time to tie my shoelaces in the mornings and they can think this up. Surreal.

    Reply

  8. brick testament? no didn’t see that @lood. will go back and check, might make another post.

    Gay Mormon Boy, did you buy one? that’s hysterical. if you did you need to report back when it arrives.

    Reply

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